Percakapan Omegle pt. 2

Percakapan omegle sarap gua dengan orang yang juga sarap. We were both abnormal, alasan utamanya karena memang sudah malam dan gua udah ngantuk. Tapi berhubung dia ada di belahan dunia yang lain dan saat itu masih siang dan dia belum ngantuk, gua nggak tau kenapa dia ikut- ikutan sarap kayak gua. Mungkin energinya berlebihan. Atau habis gegar otak? Ya udah lanjut. And oh, excuse my bad english. You know how Omegle works.

You: its midnight
You: dark
Stranger: stars are in the sky
You: and the moon
Stranger: and the planets
You: and the universe
Stranger: and aliens
You: and spaceship
Stranger: and asteroids
You: and you talking to me
Stranger: and the cat next to me
You: and the teddy next to me
Stranger: is he in good health?
You: i think he has insomnia
You: i have to sing him a lullaby
Stranger: :O what song are you gonna sing?
You: my lullaby from lion king
Stranger: are you going to take care of that now or later?
You: maybe later hes going to the toilet right now
Stranger: YOU GOT HIM POTTY TRAINED??? WHY WON'T MINE DO THAT?
You: i think you wouldnt be there for him im afraid hes gonna cry again
Stranger: i would too be there.
You: you should talk to him, i think hes scared
Stranger: okay, hold on, ill ask.
You: teddy, come here boy
You: yes hes here
Stranger: alright. now. we need to talk about something.
You: what is it mister?
Stranger: see, we have a problem. i hear you're.... afraid? and that you're going to cry?
You: hey hold on a second, how did teddy know youre a guy?
Stranger: i think teddy has some problems. im not a guy. but i thought it would confuse him too much, you know, screw him up more than he already is? so i let it go.
You: okay, teddy come here
You: ok you may talk to him now
Stranger: are you sure?
You: yeah i think hes calm enough to talk to you, right teddy?
You: yeah
Stranger: okay teddy. is there any confusion that you have at the moment? any fears? any tears?
You: yeah well i watched this naruto guy and he's fighting with his friend and im afraid hes going to die if he lose
You: im scared
Stranger: just relax. its okay. its just a cartoon, alright? you know, make believe? i think even if he does die, it won't hurt.
You: it wont hurt? why? i saw him crying
Stranger: well yeah, thats what he wants you to think
You: what? but he seemed like hurt
Stranger: its this little thing called ACTING!! its a wonderful contraption and its not real, just to make you think that its real.
You: oh, but he didnt look like he's acting
You: and i hate that sasuke, i think hes evil
Stranger: well thats the beauty of it. it just looks so darn real you can't even tell.
You: would you tell him? that i dont like hes acting like that and it makes me scared?
Stranger: i cant
Stranger: thats not my job
Stranger: if i could i would
Stranger: but alas
Stranger: i cannot
You: you heard it, Teddy? you cant make it disappear forever. its just a cartoon.
You: oh
You: okay
You: i think i wanna go to sleep
You: looks like teddy wants to go to sleep
Stranger: okay
Stranger: well enjoy your sleep teddy
You: thanks... what can i call you?
Stranger: the professor
You: oh thanks professor, for everything.
Stranger: no problem! glad to help.
You: hes already asleep! i think i dont have to sing him a lullaby, thanks
Stranger: well thats a relief. save your breath.
You: okay
Stranger: okaaayu
Stranger: minus the u
You: k, good midnight...
Stranger: good midnight to you too. have a wonderful today.
You: yeah.. dont you wanna go to sleep?
Stranger: im not sleepy. its not midnight here!!
You: what? so what time?
Stranger: eleeeeven
You: where are you, professor?
Stranger: east coast
You: east coast?
You: far away from here
Stranger: really? so you live on the west coast?
You: what is west coast, professor?
Stranger: of america
You: oh yes of course
You: i live near brazil
Stranger: oh seriously? thats so cool
You: yeah..
Stranger: is it hot there?
You: well, its near summer so its warm
Stranger: oh well i didnt know if it was one of those things where since its summer here, its winter there, ya know? because it does that some places i think.
You: but its june now!
Stranger: i know!! hey its 11:11 make a wish
Stranger: even though its not there
Stranger: it is here
You: okay.. *wishing*
You: yeah done
Stranger: yay. i'm very proud of you.
You: what did u wish for?
Stranger: you can't tell anyone
Stranger: it won't come true then
You: where are you come from, young professor?
Stranger: i told you alreaddddy
You: no i mean which country?
Stranger: USA babbbyyy!
You: what? i havent heard of it before. what is usa?
Stranger: united states of AMERICA. teddy owner, do you live under a rock?
You: under the sea actually..
Stranger: ATLANTIS?
You: yeah! how did you know that?
Stranger: i have some awesome skills
You: whoa you should teach me
Stranger: i bet you wish that i would. but i cannot share my secrets.
You: whaaat? why noot?
Stranger: you aren't worthy
You: but im from atlantis, i think i deserve it
Stranger: well for starters, you have to have ESP
You: whats ESP, sir?
Stranger: extra special powers
You: what? i have extra special powers
Stranger: prove it
You: here i am
You: now here i am
You: see? i can swim faster than aquaman
Stranger: no one csn swim faster than aquaman
You: what? but i can. aquaman learned his swimming in atlantis. im his teacher
Stranger: then i have nothing to teach you. your skills outbeat mine. i have not taught any super heroes.
You: then what is your ESP?
Stranger: being awesome.
Stranger: bet you can't top that, can you?
You: i can't
You: i want you to teach me
You: or i'll get harry potter
Stranger: NOT HARRY POTTER!
Stranger: actually.
Stranger: get harry
Stranger: no
Stranger: ill get edward cullen
Stranger: we'll have a face off
You: hes going to finish edward right away
You: he has his wand
Stranger: vampires are indestructable
You: i agree but nothing can stand an avada kedavra
You: its a deadly curse, even for a vampire
Stranger: well then he'll just bite his head off before he can do the spell
Stranger: the end.
You: he can do the impedimenta to slow him down
Stranger: then this cat that i have next to me will bite his leg and give edward time to get up
You: oh youre not allowed to do that because my teddy will beat your cat
Stranger: your teddy is sleeping
Stranger: so
Stranger: HA
You: i'll just wake him up
You: so
You: HA
Stranger: no you eon
Stranger: won't
You: why?
Stranger: because i said so
Stranger: and im awesome
Stranger: and nothing can beat that
You: i'll just ask harry to make your cat asleep
Stranger: well you know what?
You: what? you havent told me yet so i dont know
Stranger: I AM TIRED
Stranger: AND I'M GOING TO SLEEP BEFORE THIS GETS ANYMORE OUT OF HAND
Stranger: THAN IT ALREADY HAS
You: what youre working overnight again?
You: have a nice dream then..
Stranger: i will
Stranger: thank you
Stranger: you too, teddy bear owner
You: thank you, cat owner
Stranger: goodnight!
You: night!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

see what I mean?

Percakapan Omegle

You: halo
Stranger: hi
You: indo?
Stranger: u from
You: im from nesia
You: u?
Stranger: apa kabar
You: what is apa kabar?
Stranger: how are u
You: oh and i must tell you, ther so many people who come from indonesia online
You: what is indonesia?
Stranger: im from indonesia
You: is it a country or a city?
Stranger: country
You: whoa cool, is it in asia?
Stranger: u?
You: which city do you live in?
Stranger: jakarta
You: wah sama dong
Stranger: u from
You: aku dari jakarte hahaha
Stranger: woi lagi ngapain
You: ngejailin doang dude hahahah
Stranger: sialan kau
You: yes im sorry
Stranger: umur lo brp
You: maaf
You: forgiveness
You: what ever
You: hahaha
You: umur gue? 18
Stranger: sama umur gua juga 18
You: wah boong lu ya
You: kok bisa sama?
Stranger: bnr
Stranger: la iya
You: kuliah?
Stranger: di jakarta mana lo
Stranger: ya
You: jakarta timur tengah
You: yg banyak padang pasir?
You: do you know it?
You: gue di ui
You: hahahah lol
Stranger: sama
You: alah sama wae lo ah gasek amadddh lo3?
Stranger: baru daftar
Stranger: jelek lo
You: ya ampun lo cantik apa ganteng?
Stranger: lu lk apa pr
You: aku lkpr
You: you?
Stranger: banci ya lo
You: iya gitu deh setengah setengah, hahaha..
You: ya enggak lah kalo banci mana mungkin ngaku
Stranger: banci iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
You: awawawaaa smooch :*
You: lol

Orang yang Suka Roti

Pada suatu hari ada orang yang suka roti. Suka, suka, sukaaaaa sekali. Suatu hari yang cerah ia membeli roti yang sangat enak di toko bernama roti bicara. Lalu ia makan roti itu dengan penuh kemenangan. Tapi ia kecewa karena begitu digigit rotinya langsung kempes. Padahal ia beli roti itu dengan harga mahal, ia kira bakalan enak. Ternyata ia salah beli. Sayang sekali ya, tapi berhubung ia pecinta roti, ya sudah dia makan saja dengan tenang. Kesimpulannya, ia tak mau beli roti disana lagi..

Orang yang Terlalu Rumit

Pada suatu hari ada seorang anak yang sangat pintar yang suka mikir sampai jauh jauuuuuuh... Tapi karena sering mikir dia malah nggak ngelakuin apa-apa saking banyak mikirnya. Suatu hari dia disuruh ke pasar sama ibunya. Disuruh beli kacang hijau karena di warung jarang ada yang bagus. Nah langsunglah mikir aneh aneh anak itu. Kalau ternyata tokonya nggak ada yang buka.. ternyata bagusan kacang ijo yang di warung... ternyata orang di pasar nipu dia.. ternyata nanti ada preman pasar yang minta dia bikinin kacang ijo buat preman itu.. aneh aneh lah pokoknya dan langsunglah imajinasinya berkeliaran ke tempat yang aneh. Dia mikirin hal-hal yang menakutkan.. Dia jadi terbengong-bengong saat ibunya berkata padanya, belinya setengah kilo aja. Dan karena dia bengong dia pun dimarahi oleh ibunya dan ayahnya punikut-ikutan memarahi dia.. Sungguh malang nasib anak itu padahal dia berbakat menjadi penulis cerita fiksi. Dan akhirnya adiknya yang disuruh berangkat ke pasar dan pulang membawa bebek..

LHOOOO!?----- TAMATNYA FULL METAL ALCHEMIST

Tadi gue baca one manga... full metal alchemist. Udah tamat. Seru banget. Al balik lagi. Diselamatin sama Ed. Ed mengorbankan pengetahuan tentang Alchemy-nya. Jadi sekarang dia bukan Alchemist lagi. Tapi yang penting kan mereka bareng lagi. Hohenheim mati di depan kuburan istrinya---Trisha, ibu dari Ed dan Al. Akhirnya Mustang balikin penglihatannya pakai Philosopher Stone Dr. Marco, tapi dengan syarat balikin tempatnya orang Ishvar dengan keamanan dan Dr. marco jadi dokter di sana. Homunculus dibalikin lagi ke tempat asalnya.. dikurung di tempat aneh sama "God"/"Universe"/"All"/"One"/"You" dan dia udah nggak berdaya lagi. Keadaan balik jadi aman.. tapi Ed dan Al jadi gak punya ayah. Scar masih hidup. Dia mau balik ke Ishvar. Sementara itu Al harus latihan sama tubuh biologisnya karena lama nggak dipake. Ototnya masih lemah dan nggak terbiasa jalan jauh. Lalu.... nggak tau lagi karena belum selesai baca langsung ditulis kontan aja gitu. Pokoknya, tamat dengan brilian. Epik. Bener-bener sebuah masterpiece. Full Metal Alchemist bakal jadi seri yang lama diingat oleh orang banyak.

Boneka yang Sombong

Pada suatu waktu kapan aja boleh deh yang penting jadi, ada seorang penjahit yang tua renta nyaris bangka. Dia kakek malang yang hidup sebatang kayu, eh, kara ding. Dia tidak mempunyai anak karena saat muda ia berwajah sangat jelek sehingga tak ada wanita yang tertarik padanya, bahkan sekarang ia bertambah jelek, wajahnya dipenuhi kutil. Walaupun begitu ia tetap merupakan seorang kakek yang baik hati. Sebenarnya jika wajahnya tidak buruk rupa ia bisa saja disenangi anak anak, tetapi karena wajahnya menyeramkan dan badannya bungkuk diakibatkan matanya plus minus (??) dan ia seorang penjahit maka jika ia menjahit di mesin jahit ia harus membungkuk, jadilah badannya bungkuk melebihi paus punggung bungkuk alis paus bongkok. Walaupun sebutan "kakek sihir" tak ada, tapi di kampung itu ia disebut "kakek sihir" oleh anak anak kampung itu. Tapi ia tetap sabar, untungnya pesanan jahitan tetap ada walau tidak banyak, cukup untuk makan sehari-hari.

Suatu malam ia merasakan kesepian yang amat sangat, ia hampir menangis. "Andai aku mempunyai anak yang bisa menemaniku di usia kepala enam ini", desahnya. Kemudian ia mempunyai ide untuk membuat boneka yang menyerupai anak kecil supaya ia tidak terlalu kesepian lagi. "Aku akan membuat boneka saja, lagian buat adopsi anak mahal ngasih makannya, susah ngurus surat keluarganya, mana ntar minta macem macem lagi sama gue malah ntar gua yang cepet mati", pikirnya. Lalu ia buatlah itu boneka. Saat jadi ia benar-benar terkejut, "Waduh udah besok ini, orderan belum dibikin", katanya. Rupanya ia bukan terkejut akan hasilnya...

Setelah ada boneka tersebut ternyata ia tetap merasakan kesepian, maka ia pun kembali berkeluh kesah, "Andai boneka ini bisa hidup ya tapi gak usah makan gak usah minum gak usah BAB", keluhnya. Lalu ada suara cekikikan ibu-ibu yang sangat sopran melebihi gita gutawa; "hi hi hi tak perlu khawatir kakek kutil, ("kakek kutil, kurangajar kamu!", kata kakek itu) bonekamu akan kubuat hidup", kata suara sang ibu-ibu itu. "benarkah? bagaimana caranya?", tanya si kakek. "cukup dengan membayar sebesar satu juta dolar boneka Anda akan dilengkapi peralatan canggih layaknya Astro Boy, yaa nggak secanggih itu juga sih, kalo mau lebih canggih bayar lagi sepuluh juta dolar", Gak. Jelas. Banget. GUBRAAAAK, ibu-ibu itu ditendang ke luar rumah. "Dasar ibu-ibu aneh, sejak kapan dia nguping curhat gue", serapah kakek kutil ("kutil???!!! awas kaauuu!").

Akhirnya Tuhan merasa iba kepada kakek tersebut, walaupun gak iba-iba amat sih. Maka boneka itu dihidupkan oleh Tuhan. "Kamu akan saya hidupkan, dasar kakek bodoh, kalo mau diidupin pencet aja tombol on off nya, dasar... (Ini maksudnya apa) Oh iya belum selese ya, kamu akan saya hidupkan untuk berbakti kepada kakek malang itu. Tetapi jika sekali saja kamu berbuat tidak becus, maka saya akan ambil kembali nyawamu". Boneka itu pun menjadi hidup....

Pagi harinya kakek itu terbangun dan menyadari sarapan lengkap telah terhidang di mejanya,dan melihat bonekanyalah yang telah hidup dan memasaknya. Ia terbelalak. "ITU MAKANAN PERSEDIAAN UNTUK SEBULAN, KENAPA DIMASAK SEMUANYEEE!?", jerit kek kutil. Ternyata ia terkejut bukan karena bonekanya hidup, tetapi karena persediaan makanan untuk sebulan dihabisi semua. "Ya elah, segitu buat sebulan, pantes aja lu kerempeng kayak gitu kek, kutil lu doang yang numbuh gede", sungguh kurangajar jawaban boneka yang belum diberi nama itu. "KUTIL APE KATE LOO BOCAAAAAH!!!???", sembur si kakek kutil. Apakah yang akan terjadi selanjutnya???

To be continued..